Contemplative Dexterity

At Sunday dinner this last week, I had the obligatory conversation about the new job I just procured. This current job is fairly similar to the last one I had, just on a much larger scale and with a lot of added tasks. Anyway, my dear younger sister, being the wonderful Mormon girl that she is, became really excited after I explained that my new job was similar to the last one, and she says something along the lines of, 'There was a reason you had that last job," implying that god allowed me to have the last job so that he could allow me to have this current job. For some reason I became really frustrated with her comment, but all I could spit out was, "Not really." Smooth and witty, no? But she persisted and reiterated her declaration. After that, I shut down the conversation as quickly as I could, not really wanting to start a debate about "god's plan" and all that crap at the dinner table surrounded by my family. I'm just not that kind of person...

          Every decision I made was by design. Some great overlord was watching my every move, ensuring that I stayed the course He had predetermined for me. This was how I grew up. Convinced that I was being watched, that every choice that was ever presented to me was to test how well I understood the plan that I was never actually privy to know. I had a hard time understanding how it worked, Free Agency. How was it that I had free agency, the ability to choose my own life’s course, when an unseen Power living above and around and inside me had already drawn up my life’s map and it was just a matter of time before I reached my “true potential”? If he was purposefully presenting me with different choices, didn’t that already undermine the basic tenants of Free Agency?                    I’ve twice read a book called “Clockwork Angels” by Kevin J. Anderson. It’s a wonderfu...